To begin with, I hate writing in a way that I constantly ask myself what makes life worth living every time I am writing a paper. Even though I have spent two whole semesters to get myself used to writing 3-5 page paper, my inner fear would still appear like a demon that drags me to hell. I may, or definitely, have exaggerated, but that is indeed how I feel when writing a paper. In a word, it is suffering.
I have never seriously written a composition in English that includes more than 12 sentences before I went to university.
All right, to be honest, I wasn’t serious enough when dealing with TOEFL or SAT or the placement test. I almost freaked out when it was asked to write a 3-page paper at the beginning of the first semester of freshman year. There were two thoughts that immediately came up in my mind: 1) *BEEP* it, I can’t write a 3-page paper; 2) Okay, I’m gonna fail this writing course. Nevertheless, I somehow managed to pass the course with a passing grade. Am I blessed or something?
As a non-native English speaker, it is hard for me to put ideas into words. To be specific, I can stare at my laptop for an hour with nothing typed in but a flood of ideas in my mind. I used to try several times to go with the flow. Unfortunately, they all ended up similarly that I would eventually get stuck in wording and phrasing at some point.
For now, I have developed my very own technique to prompt myself when writing a paper, which is to GO WITH THE WORD COUNT. I can tell without my brain that how many words that are Times New Roman, 12-point font, and double-spaced would fill how many pages with 1-inch margins. I admit that it is a terrible technique that it is very uninspiring and damages the spirit of writing to some extent. Nonetheless, I would rather keep using this technique until I excavate some pleasure in writing.
By the way, I really start to enjoy using FocusWriter to write for anything with the screenshot of my favorite character in FFXV set as window background. I can’t believe that I even start to like the set of daily goals, even though, by its very nature, daily goals are still just quantified word count.